I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My cat gives me a boner
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize