dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
