Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Your penis caused this!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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