i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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