glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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