Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
