Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
