roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
