dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
