I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My feet surprised me
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