So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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