Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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