This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
