didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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