you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
