My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
