fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
