Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Pooping to opera.
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