Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
