i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
