I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
