Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
