Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
