Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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