I think im going to throw up on grandma
bring money and cleavage
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
