i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
