i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
