so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
