Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
