I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
