Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
