I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
