I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
