Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
