Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
