why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
should my penis look like a turkey
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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