Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
