He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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