If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
