OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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