just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
