He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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