What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
