I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
