oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
