Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
