someone get that fucking seahorse.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
now i know why i became what i already was.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
