And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
