Say something about gay babies.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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