I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
