i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
