i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
