I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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