3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
