I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
