sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
