we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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