We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
