so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
