I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
