I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It was confusing and full of hummus
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
